Sabado, Setyembre 18, 2004

Football Fans for Truth: Don't Pass the Ball to Kerry

I knew John Kerry had made some very powerful people mad, but I did not realize just how powerful some of these people truly were, until I read...

Now, I myself had mentioned the churlish cultural insensitivity of Kerry's renaming of Lambeau Field. A nominal sports fan at best, I had winced at the apparent lack of athleticism on the part of the aforementioned Democrat-in-Chief. But little did I realize that anyone, and I mean, ANYONE, could simultaneously be LESS athletic, LESS sports-savvy, LESS photogenic than ME.

And not just once...

but over -

and OVER -

AND OVER again.


Aside from the obvious question of why the press pool photographer hates Kerry so bitterly, we must ask: what effect is this "doofosity" having on John Kerry's potential voter base?

We already know that the left doesn't care if Kerry can carry the ball - they just want to know if Kerry will carry their water. But what about the "Athletic Independents", the guys and gals who just want these stupid political commercials to clear the airwaves so they can enjoy their daily sports grind?

According to Football Fans for Truth, Kerry will not carry their vote:

Yes, Republicans have endured the occasional sporting shame. George W. Bush traded Sammy Sosa. Ronald Reagan called sports plays more than he played sports. And Vince Lombardi was a Democrat.

But America deserves a President who knows the difference between an airport and a football field, and who can spook a batter at least as well as he scares a dove.

Football Fans for Truth is dedicated to informing the American sports fan of the great risk that could befall our country.

Dino Panagopoulos, Chairman: "John Kerry is a menace to sports fans everywhere. Can we take four years of this? I don't think so."

Jeff Larroca, Director: "He is not fit to be our sports-fan-in-chief."

And there you have it, Sports Fans. John Kerry really isn't an athlete, and in light of "to thine own self be true", he nor we should force him to become one. Instead, without shame or inferiority, he should be what he truly is...

an athletic supporter.

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